Patty Wetterling and Joy Baker are riding a whirlwind of a book tour and also bringing a personal touch for those suffering their own loss.
Their book, "Dear Jacob: A Mother's Journey of Hope," tells the backstory of the kidnapping and murder of Wetterling's 11-year-old son Jacob on Oct. 22, 1989, from a rural Minnesota road, and the 27-year quest for justice, including Wetterling and her family's journey through grief, optimism and advocacy.
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It's a highly personal memoir by Wetterling, co-authored by Baker, who played an important role in the closure of Jacob's case.
The book was released in October 2023, with a paperback version out this month, but the book tour continues. With 50-plus tour stops so far, on large stages and small book clubs, it would be understandable if the tour was all a blur for the duo.
But it's not, and hasn't been. They say the conversations they've had with those who come up to speak to them, sharing tales of grief and hope, continue to resonate.
"It's one of the things that I guess I wasn't anticipating, some of the responses of other people going through trauma and loss," Wetterling said. "We've heard a lot of stories of loss of a child through illness, through accidents, through suicide, through just everything imaginable.
"It feels like when people share their story, there's a sense of no longer being alone."
A growing friendship
Wetterling and Baker have forged a close friendship over the years since they first got in touch, a growing alliance between two women on a mission to first resolve the mystery of Jacob's disappearance, then later, to share Jacob's story.
"I mean, obviously it's a very hard subject to talk about, but I think the fact that we wrote the book together, we really developed a friendship that is so deep," Baker said. "It's really based on trust and loyalty and just this really deep friendship that we both treasure."
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Their friendship and message have drawn in those who are compelled to hear about the book and to share their own experiences in person at the stops on their book tour.
Baker said she has witnessed these encounters play out, calling Wetterling "amazing" in how she relates to people who come up to talk her to her, sometimes in the book-signing line at their tour stops. Their eyes often start to fill with tears as they get close to talking to Wetterling, Baker said.
"By the time they get to Patty, they just sort of un-loose, and it's an amazing experience. She's so kind and empathetic, and she'll just reach out and hold their hands and let them tell their stories, and she's just so supportive," Baker said. "She's an amazing woman — she's an amazing hero for all of us."
Those who come up at events to speak to the duo often have many of the same questions, Wetterling said.
"Mostly they want to know that they're going to make it, or that life can be better again or that they can survive whatever this is. And I guess they draw strength from our experience," she said, of her and her family. "Even though the stories might be different, loss is loss, you know? They lost a child to car accident (and say), 'It's very different from what you're going through.' And like, no — the loss of a child is a really hard thing to deal with."
Wetterling often shares resources with those who speak to her, and always try to extend a message of kindness and support, telling them of all the times she and her family were helped by others amid the tragedy of losing Jacob.
"Some of the stories are ... oof. Nobody should have to live through what they're living through, and I can validate that — 'I'm so sorry' — you know, I get it," Wetterling said. "They just want to know that someone understands the complexity or the bigness of it all."
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Wetterling and Baker have been inseparable on the book tour ("We do have a good time when we're on the road," Baker said), and their relationship continues to grow, extending to their spouses. Both couples traveled together to Ireland last year.
Like so much of Wetterling's ongoing advocacy for missing and exploited children, the friendship stands as an example of how goodness can defy evil and suffering.
"She's one of the gifts along the way," Patty Wetterling said, of Baker. "It was just sort of a magical friendship that came out of it."
The Trust Project
