I have some suggestions for right-to-lifers who may be looking to make their stance more palatable to women, especially to unmarried women of procreative age, who can’t stand in a position to judge – and condemn – others without the possibility of being found hypocritical. Here is a four part bill that I suggest should be introduced when and if anti-abortion legislation is enacted.

(Since pro-life is anti choice, we need to remove a few more choices.)

1. Force men to take on some of the burden. When women no longer have a choice about whether or not they want to pursue an unwanted pregnancy to full term, paternity responsibility should extend to cases where the woman chooses to put the child up for adoption.
Require that men financially compensate the women whom they’ve impregnated,
(easy to prove these days) The sperm provider must pay for a) all medical expenses related to the pregnancy and delivery not covered by insurance. This includes treatment for any conditions that may arise after the birth – including post partum depression, etc.
Plus, b) Cover all lost wages. And up to $100,000 for hardships incurred (i.e, loss of a job) or opportunities missed (i.e. a better job or job promotion, pursuing an education, loss of further reproductive ability.)

2. Take Viagra and all other erectile dysfunction medications off the market. It’s clearly a sin to chemically induce sexual desire in men whom God (and nature) no longer intended to be in the procreation pool. Instead, modern chemistry has created an artificial army of ravenous, chemically altered men whose sexual appetites continue long after the human race can support. (By the way, most insurers will pay for Viagra but not birth control. Taking ED meds off the shelves will help even that playing field. Providing birth control free for all women of reproductive age would be even better – not only fair to women but also a protection for men from lawsuits (see #1) A win-win.)

3. Since female contraception, almost without exception, comes with health risks, require that the male partner take on that responsibility. As far as I know there are no risks involved with male contraception. Make it illegal for a man to have heterosexual intercourse without a condom. Unless, his partner agrees and signs a waiver. If the man does not comply, he should be punished by a large fine and – possibly – sterilization. Furthermore, even with the waiver signed, the man must sign a disclosure stating that he does not have any sexually transmittable diseases. Palsying this document will be punishable by an even larger fine (dependent upon the severity of the STD) and mandatory sterilization.

Anyway, we get rid of Viagra, make condoms obligatory and force men to take responsibility for spreading their seed. These are a few effective measures but – by far – the most foolproof method of avoiding unwanted pregnancies, leads to my final suggestion.

4. Make it illegal for any person who is not actively seeking to reproduce at the moment to engage in potentially procreative sex. Now, of course, it’s not reasonable to think that we can prevent people from having sex – unless we neuter everyone and that would be problematic to the continuation of the human race. So, only allow those who are not presently planning a family to engage in same gender sex. Problem solved.