To anyone to whom I have made any sort of non-financial obligation
Including employers, friends, people I hardly know who for some reason I promised something
I am declaring TIME BANKRUPTCY
I am hereby absolved of any commitment made orally or in writing

I will not complete any work, or follow through on favors or social obligations that I may have made

This is legally binding under a little known (known only to me) code that I have established
Find out more at MYlesislation.gov

I plan to do nothing that is not completely selfish for at least one week – probably one month
Before incurring any new time commitment debt
I will sleep, read, daydream, stare into space and enjoy an anxiety free existence
Do not expect anything from me

In time, I will begin accruing new obligations that it will be nearly impossible for me to fulfill
But for now, forget anything that I promised to do
Don’t call, email, text or ring my doorbell
I will only answer if you have brought me food or gifts
And, in that case, just leave them outside the door