TV Killed Chrystal Meth

Standard

It used to be cool to be a meth addict
Like hard core cool
Not so much anymore
TV made it trendy
Like junior executives out clubbing trendy

TV has ruined a lot of things
At one time, indulging in some sort of aberrant behavior
might fuck up your life
But it gave you some cred, some edginess

Now the media has mainstreamed all sorts of vices and oddities
Rehab, polygamy, prison, stripping, anorexia,
Even hoarding
Not that hoarding was ever cool. But it was distinctive

Not any more
TV networks are continually on the lookout for new types of deviant behavior to exploit
Hoarders are now scuttling out from every crack and crevice
To proudly display their disease to the public
It’s become competitive
I suspect that some of those shameless media whores intentionally plant particularly disgusting, disturbing things in their homes.
It’s only a matter of time before an miscarriage shows up between couch cushions.
Kidney stones in a microwave

And, if you figure out something that hasn’t been commercialized yet

For example:
Self flagellation
Or chewing on glass shards
Or enema obsession

The media is bound to co-opt it
And turn it into a sit-com
The E word
Or Frenemas
Or, maybe
The Oppenheimers

But back to meth

These days – if I wanted to become a meth addict
I wouldn’t bother
It would just be passé
Last year’s horrible mistake
Like wearing neon

There’s no longer any way to express your individuality, color, creativity
Forget extreme piercings, obsessive compulsive disorder, Tourette’s, necrophilia, Muchhausen-by-Proxy Syndrome, auto erotic asphyxiation, cannibalism,
It’s all been done.
Broadcasted, commercialized, franchised, branded, merchandized, product placed, spun off, overexposed and tossed aside

Is there anything left?

Well, I think heroin is still subversive
For now
Until it’s repackaged
As retro. “Old school Oxycontin”

So – heroin it is
Enjoy it while you can
Before it’s the flavor of the month

But please
Don’t ruin it for everyone
With Instagrams
Keep those selfies to yourself

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