I think that, with where I’m currently at in my life
Confused, disillusioned, a little lost and unconnected
I’d be perfect fodder for a cult
So I’m sitting on a bench in a park, hoping to be recruited by a cult member.
Cults are always hanging out in parks – looking for victims
Any cult will do. Some organization that will offer to put things into perspective and give me some direction.
So far I’ve had no luck.
Maybe I don’t look pathetic enough.
Cult members, like serial killers, prey on the weak and isolated.
I put my head in my hands, but then decide that I might miss something in this position.
Some cult group checking me out and trying to determine if I’m prime cult material. Ripe for the picking.
I sit back up and try looking naive and scared.
This makes me feel sad – as if I really am naïve and scared.
I feel sorry for myself
and I think that attitude now gives me the right look for attracting the desired attention.
I don’t really care what the cult’s philosophy may be.
As long as I’m not encouraged to take drugs or expected to kill anyone.
I don’t think those cults are as prevalent any more.
Quite possibly a few exceptions gave the whole cult community a bad rap.
There are probably some good ones.
I’m prepared to give up any income and personal property.
That doesn’t seem like too much to ask for purpose and ideals. And possibly eternal life.
Whatever the perks, I’m not that fussy.
I’d just like to have some guidance, a role model – and a group of ready made friends.
I once thought about starting a cult.
Cult leader has always seemed like an attractive career option.
You just need an angle I guess. I was never able to come up with a good one.
Besides, leader of anything is too much responsibility.
What happens if you just want to hang it all up and do something else?
Do you tell all of your followers that you were probably wrong
and suggest that they should just go back to their old lives?
I don’t think I could handle letting so many people down.
There’s someone else on a park bench nearby who seems like another good candidate for a cult.
A young guy who looks absolutely miserable.
Maybe I should tell him that I’m a cult recruiter
and that if he’s interested I’ll meet him in the same spot tomorrow and tell him all about the cult.
By that time he’ll probably feel better and not even bother showing up.
It might give him some hope for the moment.
Or I might just freak him out.
That’s more likely. I think I’ll just mind my own business.
Maybe I’ll just convince myself that I’ve made plans to meet a cult member here tomorrow.
Then I can go home and make something to eat.
I feel better already.
I should eat something really good anyway.
You never know what the cult’s dietary restrictions may be.
4 thoughts on “Waiting for Salvation – or Something”
So glad your wish to join a cult went unfulfilled! Nice piece!
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Oooh! I can see a ‘What Cult Should I Join?’ App! You’re an IDEA MAN, McAllister!!
The Sri Chinmoy people always seemed nice, but it’s such a schlep to Queens.
Start simple: Go slo-grooving with the Chinese elders in the park at dawn.
The Sri Chinmoy people always seemed nice, but it’s such a schlep out to Queens.
Start simply: Hang out in the park in the early morn, and dig some of the slo-mo Falun Dafa grooving with the Chinese Elders.
At least the Hare Krishnas will feed you for a few bucks, and then comes the Harmonium Hootenanny, which is a big plus.
Ohh!! I can see a “What Cult Should I Join?” App – You’re an IDEA MAN, McAllister!
This is so funny. Like a Feiffer cartoon.